Ian Danter meets Graham Gooch
Ian Danter meets Stuart Pearce and Alec Stewart
Ian Danter meets Alec Stewart
Ian Danter meets Alex McLeish
Mr Pussycat Sketch
Another Ian Danter ‘benchmark’ item here, which all started when my writing team at BRMB and I were sat around discussing ideas when I read in a newspaper that the classic children’s Mr Men stories were 30 years old (this would be the year 2000 if I remember correctly). Sean was aware that I did a good impression of Arthur Lowe, who famously narrated these stories for the 1970’s TV show, and so we started coming up with our own tales – Mr Dole-ite, Mr Taxi Driver, Mr Footballer etc etc – Sean hated cats and therefore found this one easy to write.
Steve Bruce & BCFC ‘Seven’
As a lifelong Birmingham City fan, I have had course to rip the what-nots out of my beloved club on occasion – this being just one example – it was early 2006 and Blues were at home to Liverpool in an FA Cup 6th Round replay. A huge night for Bluenoses and I was there reporting on the game for talkSPORT.
By 90 minutes I was sinking lower and lower in the press box as goal after horrible goal went in at our end, prompting me to tell talkSPORT’s listeners that it had been a clash of ‘not men against boys, more men against amoebas…’
Des’s Diary – DIY shop
Des Lynam saw the funny side of this (thankfully) and it was easily the longest running sketch I performed during my BRMB/Heart career. A simple pretext really – dishy Des, the housewife’s choice reads out a dedication to a local store, office or shop in a trade where it emerges he once worked. Cue a minute or so of double entendres as he reinforces the stereotype of the lothario we all hope he is.
Ramsay at Kids Party
I quickly became a fan of chef Gordon Ramsay’s sweary, uncompromising approach to his ‘Kitchen Nightmares’ show on C4 and Sean & I came up with several scenarios where his attitude to someone’s cooking might be a little misplaced – such as this occasion where he turns up at a children’s birthday party, in a foul temper as usual…
Heather McCartney
To say that lampooning the now ex-wife of Sir Paul McCartney was easy is rather like saying that Sir Alex Ferguson chews gum – it’s a bit obvious really. Here, we’d discovered that the former Miss Mills had been photographed some years ago in various compromising positions for a German porno mag.
I went straight into my home recording studio and gave ‘Eleanor Rigby’ a kick up the Noughties…