Sunday 30th May

I’m a bit surprised I’m able to type this morning as I travel down to talkSPORT towers on the train – I should be more hungover than this considering I don’t drink often and yet I had about 6 or 7 pints last night…and a sambuca (thankfully not flaming).

Thanks to the weekend work that football normally brings, it’s rare to feel in the mood for a night out on a Saturday once you’ve driven home from the game you’ve commentated on. So it was great to meet up with 4 or 5 of my close friends for a few beers and a chinwag at the pub where I seemingly spent all of my 20’s – the Saddlers Arms in Solihull.

It’s one of those spit & sawdust hostelries that has attempted to refurbish itself umpteen times in a bid to get rid of the riff-raff and thankfully its never succeeded. You can’t have every pub looking like a bloody bistro can you? At least it’s still the only pub in Solihull where you don’t have to queue to get in on a Saturday night.

I was intrigued to learn that the former Captains Locker pub on the high street is now a lap-dancing club. What??? A lap-dancing club in posh, sleepy, model-Tory-heartland-town Solihull????? Whatever is the world coming to? And Jasper Carrott got a 5-minute routine out of the time they planned to open a sex shop in Solihull! Presumably a 5-minute routine costs you £25 quid in this new place. That’s an educated guess obviously. And yes, I know the Lib Dems won Solihull in the election.

My World Cup schedule has come through from the talkSPORT bosses ahead of the team’s flight to South Africa, and to say it’s hectic would be a mild understatement – 4 days off in 33…and that’s what it’s all about I say. I’ll get to see Jo’burg, Pretoria, Durban, Rustenburg – and loads of great games to commentate on, like Argentina vs Nigeria on Day 2 and Italy/Paraguay early on too. What an honour – better pack my thermals though, as it is winter out there during June & July. I’ll also pack the laptop so I can update you with my World Cup blog from this website and give you a flavour of the tournament.

I had to have medical jabs this week ahead of the trip – just to be on the safe side you understand. And so upon visiting the nurse at my local surgery, I proceeded to go through the card it seemed – hepatitis A, thyfoid, swine flu, tetanus, beri-beri, swamp fever, rickets, mange…I could be lying about the last 4 through the delirious state that the first 4 jabs have put me in. My upper arm also swelled up like Popeye’s for a time, giving the impression for the very first time that I possessed muscles, so there’s always an upside.

She also told me very matter-of-factly that I was to avoid ‘acupuncture, tattooists and intercourse’ during my stay in the Rainbow Nation. Interesting order to put them in, I thought….